rnatthewperry:

REASONS TO DATE ME

• im really pretty if im the only one in the room and theres no one to compare me to
• really though i have nice hair and i’d let u play with it
• also nice lips 
• im very nice 
• id probably never make you feel bad abt yourself and if i did i’d apologize for like 3000 yrs afterwards
• i’ll laugh at ur jokes
• i’ll always want to make out or be touching in some way
• i wear lots of sweaters so im basically adorable
• i’ll love u a lot

sev-elbows:

snakegay:

dyketw:

forevermoribidlyyours:

okay but dominant men in their thirties to forties wearing suits with nice hands and little to no morals? that’s my type

i would say i need to rinse my eyes out but they already fell the fuck outta my head what the hell is wrong with straight women

the post got worse the post got worse the post got worse

chicanaspice:

legendarymotherofshade:

erincrocodile:

wizzard890:

kaylapocalypse:

lockelamora:

hellkn1ght:

borderline-sunflower:

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

one time a drunk girl started crying because she said she loved my eyebrows so much

phxndom:

the-grace-of-cas:

sonianeverland:

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive

I actually really needed this tonight, thank you

unbeliefs:

i just want a pretty face and nice clothes

rameldrive:

skeluigi:

somethingpointy:

Vampire doctors that can smell if you have a blood disease.

Werewolf therapy animals for sick kids.

Nature sprite and nymph nurses that always make sure people have pretty flowers to brighten up their white rooms.

Fauns that go around and sing and dance for patients so that they smile.

Nice monster hospitals would be amazing

Succubus nurses that give u the succ before u die

thanks tumblr user skeluigi

delzdesigns:

I hope it goes well, and I hope you dance good.
I hope you get presents that make you pretty happy.
I hope you grow old, and I hope that you find…
Somebody nice.